the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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