Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
