im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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