I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
