i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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