Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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