they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize