Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
