Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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