there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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