How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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