that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
