after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
