is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
