it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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