I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize