conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
