okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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