Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
