you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We left an ass print on the piano.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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