his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize