No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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