sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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