Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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