Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
love makes seman taste better
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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