Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
