I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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