It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
