I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
