i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
