I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
is it fun? or sober?
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