He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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