But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
