Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...