So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
