i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
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I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
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So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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