omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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