okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!