sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
