this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
