She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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