last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
you never un-have a 4some
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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