I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
