I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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