That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
