Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
