I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize