I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize