She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
