OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
