and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
