Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
