ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
