But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
