I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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