so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He passed out mid-signature
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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