butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
