so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's official drugs can't kill me
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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