Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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