If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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