Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
