drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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