then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize