I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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