Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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