i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
