hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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