my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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