He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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