did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
