i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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