Its about making memories worth repressing
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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