Pappa wants mamma naked
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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