it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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